Ed lingers at my desk. I can tell that he wants to talk to me about something but I am fixed on my eBay auction and I do not have the capacity to engage in anything else. eBay auctions are EXTREMELY serious. “What’s up Ed? Do you need something?” I reluctantly ask. “My granny died”,…

‘WE’RE HAVING A YACHT PARTY AND YOU’RE ALL INVITED!’ Shouts Fred, to a group of completely arbitrary people, inside of Carpe Diem nightclub, in Barcelona, *pause scene* Now is a time to tell you, that at this very moment, I am facing numerous problems on our annual February Barcelona trip: Fred is wearing a white…

It has been one of those Vegas trips. When I talk about Vegas, I am not talking about activities and experiences in small doses. Lads group trips on Instagram be captioned ‘Vegas aint ready for us’ – as if they are the first men in the world, to ever think they will be ‘the coolest…

Once upon a time, we went to Barcelona on a business trip. When I say we, I mean myself and my two bosses, David and Fred.  David booked his flight separately to us and warned ‘I don’t fly with Fred’. I should have taken this as a sign to come. The day rolls around and…

I have a dodgy tummy. I am not ashamed of this matter anymore. I frequently tell my boss I have a runny tummy and will provide explicit details such as ‘It was a riot and I ruined the porcelain therefore I am unable to be at work by 9 am I am afraid’. Normal standard…

I lead a very active life. I go out. I totally go out. Trip to Sainos? = Activity. Grocery shopping is considered an activity rather than a chore when you are past the age of 25.  It’s very stressful to remember to buy milk. So when I say I am going out. Please know, I…

The condoms I have in my cupboard have expired. This the truth of my vagina and it’s tales. Reporting back – with absolutely 0 news other than please throw away those crusty old condoms. I am not phased, I am considering joining a nunnery at this rate. Got to love a spring clean and finding…

My older man thing started this one time in an airport in Berlin in 2017. That was a mere 12 year age gap. It’s kind of like a fetish. Don’t ask. I don’t have the answers and Freud is not available these days. His telephone is permanently engaged. Back to the actual story line, this…

On my first trip to Vegas in 2018, we were partying at Hakkan with Lil John and all of a sudden, I felt as though I had enough of Lil John and took myself home due to an EXTREME DESIRE to eat potato skins. To this day, I have no idea why I was so…