My leg hairs are so long right now. I can see them glistening in the candle light as I write this. Yes, candle light. Alone. Alone. The word even looks sad on this page. Back to the leg hairs. Oh glistening little hairs. Tiny babies. A colony of little babies. I am thinking I might…

I have a mermaid friend. She also happens to be a cosmetics Dr. I know. Lucky me, cue annoying hashtag,#blessedwiththebest. One day, she said to me “Hey Ellen, are you keen on being my cosmetic Dermapen™ guinea pig?”.  I was so excited at the prospect of becoming the next Joan Rivers, I jumped into my car…